We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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