Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
