I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I will die if light touches me.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
