I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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