Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
