Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
