Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
