508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
