Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
