I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
