I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
