I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
