So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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