I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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