im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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