Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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