He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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