Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
