He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
