I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
