i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
