Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
