I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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