Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
