i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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