Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
