i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
you never un-have a 4some
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
