i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize