Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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