I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
