In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
