he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
