i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
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