I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
