well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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