I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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