if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
