i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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