Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
