Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
