i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
