I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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