i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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