God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He did a backflip because drugs
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
