Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
