Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
