i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
