Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
