Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
