He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The air taste purple.
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