i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
