I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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