Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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