My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
