You smell like stripper and shame
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize