i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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