Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
