I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
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