am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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