Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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