she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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